Sunday, December 20, 2015

I just found out that if you have an awesome blog, you gotta put stuff in every day. 

Every . Friggin' . Day. 

I guess I should have known that. It means I will have to get up before noon almost every day. It is a lot. But I will do it for you! My devoted minion - er, I mean followers. We have been through so much together. It's why I'm so awesome. 

Important shit for today: (See what I did there? I said "shit". [snicker]).:! ◄Awesome use of punctuation stuff.

  1. I had a brief conversation with the cat today. She said "Melvin, you think I'm on the naughty list again this year?" I had to give it straight, so I said "Well Puddy, You have killed a lot of innocent creatures this year. And you slapped Kermit and Poot and Camo quite a bit. And you hissed at me and scratched me and bit my finger. Actually you are kind of an asshole, as cats go. So yeah I think you made the naughty list again." "The streak continues" she answered. "Consistency is important to us cats, you know".  
  2. Kermit spoke to me too. He said, "you talkin' to the cat again Melvin?. You realize that is completely insane don't you?". I looked at him and replied, " Yeah. Not like talking to the dog at all."
  3. Yeah, I talk to my animals. It's not weird. I talk to the little Melvins who live in my head too, but they didn't have a lot to say today.


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