Thursday, February 11, 2016

I found out some exciting historical information today. While conducting research on my family's past, I discovered a connection to King Aurthur's court. I know, right? Everyone knows about the evil Black Knight, but not many folks know he had a brother, the naughty Grayish Knight. Well the story goes like this. The naughty Grayish Knight challenged my ancestor Sir Osis of Liver, to a joust. Something to do with a fat serving wench - whatever. Anyway, The day of the joust came and everyone was terrified when the naughty Grayish Knight rode into the arena. People fully expected Sir Osis of Liver to skip town but much to everyone's surprise, he rode in drunk as a lord, sitting backwards on a donkey, in true hero fashion. The donkey, being the more intelligent of the two, tried to flee. The naughty grayish Knight saw this as an advance and responded, bearing down on Sir Osis of Liver and his donkey with frightening speed. Just as the end appeared certain for our hero, Sir Osis farted and took a big swig from the bottle he was carrying. The flatulence  was so awful that the poor donkey threw Sir Osis of Liver and barfed right  in the face of the knight's mount. The great horse was blinded and stumbled, falling to the ground and spilling the naughty Grayish Knight who landed right on Sir Osos of Liver, impaling himself on the broken hooch bottle. The naughty Grayish Knight met his demise immediately. When Sir Osis of Liver sobered up and was told what had happened, went to the King and took his rightful place at the famous Round Table. And that, my friends, is the true story of Sir Osis of Liver, Grand patriarch of the noble clan Melvin.

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