Saturday, August 6, 2016

I heard from the aliens last night and boy are they pissed. It seems the Insectoid Roach People from Xanax and the Reptilian Frog-faced People from Zoloft Minor have been meeting on planet Prozac 4, the home of the aliens, to hold the Interstellar Shit Flinging Games. Kind of like our Olympics except all the games involve flinging different kinds of shit collected throughout the galaxy. The Aliens are all apoplectic because nobody told them they were having the games on Prozac 4. Hell, they didn't even ask! Well, the shit has hit the fan (slaps knee, howls with laughter "See what I did there?? Did ya? Shit - fan?  Shit - games? Oh sniggmalets on a bargwaffle!! I am hilarious!!"). Anyway the drama is reaching melt-down levels and I'm afraid there will be harshly worded memos transmitted between the two parties. No telling who will wind up demanding an apology. I wouldn't want to be there when that happens because it will lead to dirty looks and foot stomping and even teeth baring. I've heard that envoys from both sides have been dispatched to Planet Gumfloss to procure teeth just in case it goes that far. (The reptilians nor the insectoids have their own teeth) Damn shame if you ask me. The games are supposed to promote goodwill, friendship, and fertilization. Oh well, these are the times we live in. I blame galactic warming.

Naughty words:
Pissed
Shit x 5
Hell
Damn


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