Friday, August 19, 2016

The best thing about having a Blog that no one actually reads is that I can make outrageous predictions about stuff not caring that they never come to pass. And I can also make huge ridiculous promises that I have no intention of ever keeping. Kind of like most people's New Year's resolutions. Things that don't make no difference and ain't never going to happen but I don't care because nobody reads this shit anyway.

First off let me try a prediction. Before the end of the year the aliens are going to contact us just to let us know that they've been watching us for a while and we're a bunch of dumbasses. We suck and they're out of here. Okay, I may have some inside information on that one.

 Now for the big promise that I have no intention of keeping. I'm going to get in shape. That's right. I'm going to work out and get in shape and be all buff and stuff. So I'm starting out with 10 push-ups, 10 pull ups. 10 sit ups, and 10 jumping jacks. I don't mean Every Day. I mean, you know, spread out over the course of the year. That should do about do it. Then, when I get all buff n hot n shit, I'm going to let them take naked pictures and put them in ladies magazines. For free. It's not about what you get people. It's about what you give.

Oh, almost forgot, Kermit wants everyone to know that he won't be answering to Kermit anymore. He's going to start going by his rapper name, K-dawg. I know, the cat thinks it's silly too.

Naughty words:
Shit x2

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