Saturday, November 5, 2016
November is remembered as Veterans Day month,Thanksgiving month, Black Friday month, and even Election Day month. But all of these things pale in comparison to the most important event of the year. November is Intergalactic Melvin Appreciation Day month. All over the galaxy people (and people-like things) will stop to appreciate the 61st Earth year anniversary of my appearance in the universe. The current generation of unworthy inhabitants are exceedingly fortunate to have been alive during the time of my snarky sarcasm, inane literary ponderings and general laziness. So take a moment on the 22nd to reflect on all the ways I have made your lives greater, the Earth more beautiful and the galaxy brighter. For all these things, You Are Welcome. Oh hell, I forgot to mention my example of humility. That too.
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Go ahead. Say it. I dont care.