Thursday, August 16, 2018

I understand that the Amazon rainforest is supposed to be a good thing. There's a lot of stuff there that crawls around and flies around and slithers back and forth etc. They take this way too far though. I'm watching a documentary on the Amazon rainforest now. I'm about 30 minutes in and I have already seen a spider eat a 1996 Buick Roadmaster station wagon, a snake devour a small village, a little frog spit Atomic explosions, and a fish bite the bow off of a canoe. Exactly what the hell is wrong down there. When you see a pissant toting an entire bullmoose something is definitely up. I'm blaming GMOs and plastic straws.

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