Today, once again, I will be a Ninja. And I have to say it is long overdue. I will silently stalk the cat. I will be upon him,  pull his tail, and disappear so quickly he will just sit there with a WTF  just happened look on his face. Because that's what ninjas do. I will run from the cat and hide. Because that's what ninjas do. I will traverse the entire perimeter of the living room without touching the floor. Silently moving from furniture piece to furniture piece. Because that's what ninjas do. I will put an ice pack  on the bump on my head. Because that's what ninjas do.I will go get a broomstick and I will swing it all around over my head, spin it and poke stuff. Because that's what ninjas do. I will  clean up everything I broke with the stick, because that's what ninjas do. I'll get the biggest knife I can find in the kitchen and I will twist it and spin it and swing it around and stab at things and defeat invisible doers of naughty shit. Because that's what ninjas do. I will go to the Urgent Care and get stitches, because that's what Ninjas do. I will have a dangerous and exciting afternoon. Then I will take a nap. Because, well, you know.....