So I decided that tonight would be a good night for some "nuke and eat" noodles. Mainly because there's nothing else in the house to eat. And by nothing I mean cat food. I'm not quite there yet. Anyway, I get me a pot, throw some noodles in it, put some water in there, like the package said, added a plop of butter, like the package said, and nuked the hell out of it, like the package said. Guess what? It sucked. It tasted like feet. This was a job for Old Bay Man! Yeah, I dumped a shitload of Old Bay in there on my noodles. Stirred um up and tasted them. Bam! Instant Blob of Noodley Goodness. I found a piece of bread with no green stuff and consumed my noodles and non-green bread with a generous portion of loud smacky noises.
The moral of the story is two fold. First, Old Bay is the true savior of shitty cooking. And second, get up off your lazy ass Melvin, and go to the damn grocery store.