Today I have a deeply personal problem that I need to share with someone. It seems that I have been having - and this is embarrassing - an unsatisfactory farting experience of late. There I said it. I am telling you because I know you will be discrete and not tell anyone. The issue is this: Instead of the happy little "toot" or the commanding "FRAZZOTT" that I find so pleasant, I am getting an angry growl like "Groorrrttttpp". Disturbing right? I thought so too. Is it possible that your butt can get angry with you? I can't imagine why. Oh well, no skid marks as of yet. Maybe I can make peace with Mr. Hiney before it gets to that point. Thanks, I knew I could count on you.