Fortune Cookie Fukery

I feel well enough to have thought up some more evil fukery. I recently found out that Chinese fortune cookies are not really all that prevalent in China and that the whole fortune cookie thing is pretty much American crap. Armed with that knowledge and the desire to screw with people's heads, I decided it would be amusing to replace the bland, benign, mealy mouthed fortunes with ones more to my liking. IE: "DUCK" or "Remember that last date? Get your ass to the doctor". How about " Go home. Where there's smoke, there's fire." or "You will recover - eventually". There's always the " You will learn to live without sex. Your spouse will not". Or my favorite, "Your spouse fakes it. You needed to know" (especially fun to give to the ladies). "You put off life insurance - don't". That one's food for unsettling thought. Think how much fun it will be sitting in the restaurant and watching people turn pale and grab at their chest. This is greatness in the making!